During the course

of a full day, I sit and think of all the things I'd like to write. I don't. I have an incredible amount of thoughts bottled up inside that just won't be purged. Only in my car...or moments by myself. The other night falling asleep I wrote a poem. In my head. It's not posted here. It's also not finished. I'm okay with that. So for now...trust that there is a lot more. I watch you. Like a voyeur. We breathe the same air you and I. But it's not the same. Isn't life delicious. Like a bowl full of Barbecued baby. Back ribs. Sticky wet in dark places. Hidden. God it's glorious...like stained glass...but not. Because the stain is too deep and too dark. Crimson. Held tight, but the arms are all wrong. Like a child rendered stick figure. But it still tastes like something, and it might spark. And isn't that what it's all about? Tangents are good, Jesus saves, we breathe cancer, and laugh at the mundane. The innocence of childhood is never lost. We freely let go. Even though we know we can never have it back we believe that to not have it will be better. And it is. There is beauty. There has to be. But boredom is more convenient. And isn't convenience what it's all about? Tingles doesn't it. Right down the spine and into the genitals. Don't I wish that were a prettier word. I guess I could have said crotch. Loins. Nether regions. Special place. Swimming suit area. What a wonderful place to put a tongue. Popsicle. Don't ever tell me that you have no imagination. You use it every time you look at a clock. Laugh more. But for real. Ah the things you hide. Are beautiful. There is beauty. Look no further than...the clock.

Do you really think…

…that there is such thing as a life changing experience? Maybe there are just those things that we think would change our lives, but when they finally happen, nothing really does change after all. But then again, how would you know? I don’t know that my life has taken a different course than it would have based on any single experience…but maybe. I think its interesting to trace the series of events that led to my being where I am today. Very unsatisfied with a lot of things. I don’t think any change in any past decision would change that though. I want different things than I did. I don’t want the things I used to think I wanted.

Opening Night

Not so bad after all. Actors always seem to pull it out when the time comes. Quite frankly, just a week ago I was pretty scared...but we got ourselves a show. Thank you all who made it work. It works.

Tonight I got into a huge political debate with a complete stranger. I don't know why...I don't vote, and I don't particularly want to have any substantial part in "changing the world". When I informed said stranger of this fact she said why don't i just get off the planet and move to siberia. She didn't seem to happy when I informed her that Siberia was indeed on this planet. Go to stranger. I hope you change the world. I hope when you do it meets the incredibly diverse needs of the people in it. Why do people think that my life will be so much better as soon as I think exactly like them. I'm sure not trying to make them think like me. Oh well.

Aren't relationships funny? I hate jealousy. I hate unequality in a relationship. I think if one partner can do something...then it should be allowed for both. Of course, I'm no relationship guru...maybe I'm wrong...but why buy the cow huh...???

Mostly I just wish that we could all live happily. Without deception, without anger, without pain. As soon as Presidential hopeful Howard Dean can promise me these things...I'll vote for him.

There is oh so much more...but not for you. Not tonight.

I almost wrote a blog today...

...but I didn't.

KURT VONNEGUT...

wrote in his book "TIMEQUAKE", "I do not propose to discuss my love life. I will say that I still can't get over how women are shaped, and that I will go to my grave wanting to pet their butts and boobs..."
All I can say to that is....BOY HOWDY.

A return to...

I will not be party to the wonton destruction of a fruit and nut bar. After all it isn't mine. I do have one of my own but it's so far away. Santa Clause gave it to me for Christmas. Santa Clause is a very fake man who leaves very real chocolate. However the chocolate closest to me isn't mine, and expending the energy to go get my own defeats the purpose of eating chocolate. Those calories exist for a reason, and it's my job to find out why.

On that note...KFC does NOT in fact promote healthy living. Eating chicken is not entirely bad for you, but KFC has taken it upon themselves to remove anything from the chicken that may be even remotely good for the human body and replace it with ten things that are not good for any body...Human or otherwise. Not only that, but for a mere buck you can get 64 ounces of soda. That's almost 800 calories...(unless of course you buy diet, but that's just sad.) The daily caloric allowance for a person not on a diet of regular proportion is between 1500 and 2000. Something about all that seems...well...egregious for lack of a better word. Honestly, who needs to drink a full half gallon of soda in one sitting.

So Brittney got married, woke up the next morning and decided that this marriage thing was really hard work and had it annulled. I hope the poor schlepp at least got a decent blow job before it was all over. That would almost make it all worth it. But at the cost of marriages these days...(especially in vegas) doesn't that just essentially make her just a really cheap hooker? Just a thought.

There's this little tiny dive hotel on the Strip called the Tam O' Shanter inn being bought out by the Venetian to make room for essentially...a parking lot. The Tam O' Shanter has been owned and operated by the same family since it first opened over 40 years ago...(surely not...no one was alive back then.) But we really do tear our history down. I stayed at the Tam O' Shanter once. It should have been torn down 39 years ago. I say Bravo Venetian.

Pete Rose bet on baseball 14 years ago...and its a controversy now because after 14 years he's finally admitted it. We've all known it so it's not really any news...but he's finally owned up. In all probability for no other reason than being able to be admitted into the baseball hall of fame. I say that when we are nothing but petrolium for the next evolutionary cycle...it won't matter if he made it or not. But it certainly seems to matter a lot right now. Our lives are calories and Hall's of Fame. I wonder if dinasaurs had a hall of fame. I think that'd be great. I think there probably was a dinasaour disneyland right in a small place we call La Brea now. That makes me smile.
I also think it'd be fantastic if Dinasaurs believed in God. Created in his image. Won't we all be surprised.