Who loves ya baby?
Candles don't last long enough. Another simple reminder that everything is temporary. It's a shame too, because the good ones are really damned expensive. Relatively of course, I mean twenty bucks isn't all that much, but on the other hand it's twenty bucks for a big ball of wax. Granted it smells good, but still.
I like candles. I like the way my apartment looks by candlelight, and I like the way they make it smell nice. I know that's pretty gay, but...I like a lot of things that straight men aren't supposed to like.
Candles. Scented soap. All that pretty smelly shit at bed bath and beyond. Shakespeare. Clean hands and fingernails.
I'm also not all that fond of things that straight men are supposed to love. I hate beer. Most sports. NAASCAR. Auto mechanics. Tools. Loud noise. Fart humor.
I was actually having this conversation with a friend at work the other night. I used to think it was my fondness of boobies that gave me a free pass on my heterosexuality. Then of course I realized that a lot of the gay guys I know also have a fondness of boobies. She pointed out of course that so do most women. Boobies seem to be pretty universal in their appeal. And honestly, why shouldn't they? They're FUCKIN AWESOME.
So I guess ulitmately I have to fall back on the simple fact that I'm just not sexually aroused by men in any way at all. Although, even there...Brad Pitt is gorgeous. Honestly, the man is a God. I mean I wouldn't have sex with him or anything...or...you know...where was I? Lost my train of thought there for a minute.
I guess my Y chromosome is a little stunted. Perhaps a bit smaller in the Y part than it should be, so it's sort of part Y part X.
Oh yeah and...I love...I mean absolutely LOVE....women. I do. I can't help it. Ya'all are amazing in every way. I don't understand a thing about any of you, and you all drive me fuckin batshit half the time, but god save me...I love every last one of ya.
Some more than others.
You the most.
I like candles. I like the way my apartment looks by candlelight, and I like the way they make it smell nice. I know that's pretty gay, but...I like a lot of things that straight men aren't supposed to like.
Candles. Scented soap. All that pretty smelly shit at bed bath and beyond. Shakespeare. Clean hands and fingernails.
I'm also not all that fond of things that straight men are supposed to love. I hate beer. Most sports. NAASCAR. Auto mechanics. Tools. Loud noise. Fart humor.
I was actually having this conversation with a friend at work the other night. I used to think it was my fondness of boobies that gave me a free pass on my heterosexuality. Then of course I realized that a lot of the gay guys I know also have a fondness of boobies. She pointed out of course that so do most women. Boobies seem to be pretty universal in their appeal. And honestly, why shouldn't they? They're FUCKIN AWESOME.
So I guess ulitmately I have to fall back on the simple fact that I'm just not sexually aroused by men in any way at all. Although, even there...Brad Pitt is gorgeous. Honestly, the man is a God. I mean I wouldn't have sex with him or anything...or...you know...where was I? Lost my train of thought there for a minute.
I guess my Y chromosome is a little stunted. Perhaps a bit smaller in the Y part than it should be, so it's sort of part Y part X.
Oh yeah and...I love...I mean absolutely LOVE....women. I do. I can't help it. Ya'all are amazing in every way. I don't understand a thing about any of you, and you all drive me fuckin batshit half the time, but god save me...I love every last one of ya.
Some more than others.
You the most.
2 Comments:
At 9:38 PM,
Curtis said…
You could always take the easy way out and claim 'Straight with Bi tendencies' or something like that. I know how you feel, though...I mean, most people know me as a makeup artist...not exactly your typical terrain for a straight man. And many of those who don't know me as a makeup artist know me as a costumer...I love candles, too.
But, it always does come back to this. Women. I know how you feel there, too. Well, maybe not you, exactly...but I'm hopelessly entranced by them, myself.
At 11:53 AM,
Anonymous said…
Boobies...meh.
Brad Pitt....no thanks.
Where does that leave me in the homo-hetero swing?
I like to claim I'm Michaelsexual. Oh, wait--and RyanGoslingsexual.
I guess that just tipped me over to the hetero side.
I also have a bit of a crush on Rachel McAdams...oh--and Gwen Stefani, even though she's not very smart.
Whoops. Back to the middle for me.
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