I used to write. Not a little blog now and then, but really write. A lot. Not so much anymore. There are a lot of things I used to do. I once wrote a character in a play who posed a theory...he surprised me when he said it. I don't know my own personal feelings on the topic, but he makes a good point. Whether this character is right or wrong...well...I think that is in the heart and mind of each individual to decide. He believes it. He said..."There is no such thing as love...just attention." He goes on to explain. Of course everyone who listens to his theory blows him off...no one listens...no one wants to hear such a terribly unromantic thing...I am not a romantic. I can have moments...but life slaps me far to hard in the face far too often, to really believe in "romance" Attention. Whose attention do we crave...why? Is love lost when the attention paid dissapears? Mrs. Loman..."Attention must be paid" Willy Loman was not loved any more or less than at any given time in his life...but the attention he craved had dissapeared. Erica and I are always at our worst when we don't pay enough attention. I do believe in love...but I think that romantic love is an overused term. I believe for the most part that romantic love truly is lust. Love takes time. A lot of time. Love at first sight is a crock. Hard on's at first sight...well that's another thing altogether now isn't it. I believe in familial love...only because the only way I could tolerate my family at all...is because I love them...and God knows I don't give any of them enough attention. They crave it though. They want my attention. I sometimes find that I would like theirs as well...hhhmmm. I love my friends. I love the attention they give me. I love that they would also like my attention. People make connections. Billions of little threads linking people. One to another. Six degrees of seperation indeed. You can't meet another person without that person changing the course of your life. What a wonderful world. A world of unmet potential. A world of perpetual everyday failures. What are we willing to sacrifice...what are we willing to gain? What is worth fighting for? And is it really? Beyond religion...beyond hope...beyond love...beyond life, and death and blood and songs...all we have is what we create of ourselves. In the end...alll we have is what we leave behind...because we leave behind everything. What are we creating? How many days go wasted into the void. When we look back...what have we destroyed? Everything is trivial...except attention, connection...love and creation...the rest is lost to time and circumstance...I crave attention from all of you.