Is there order in the chaos? I have to ask this only because inside my brain there seems to be no order. Does it matter? Why do we seek order? What reward does it offer? I live in a constant state of chaos clutter and flux...yet I get by every day. I have what I need. I do what I love. I love who I can. All of you. Sometimes the wheel seems a little flat. I have to push a little harder to go the same distance. This has been one of those weeks. Motivation is at an all time low. I question. I dance. I sleep, but that feels like such a waste of time, yet on the other hand it feels so good. I don't pay my wife enough attention, yet she doesn't complain. I love her. I don't give her enough, and she still chooses me. Again the scales are unbalanced. I'm selfish, fat, bald, and have changed my religion on her. She still chooses me. When I look in the mirror, I realize...I would choose me too. God bless her. God bless all of you. Goodnight. You are why my heart bleeds. Thank you.