So I was raised republican and mormon. I grew up in a small town in a large empty state. I was a happy child. I no longer consider myself republican, mormon, or a child. I am in a large town in a small state. I often as myself what decisions did I make in my life to get me where I am today. I'm overpaid to work a job I'm not qualified for, and no one seems to care. The quality of work doesn't matter, just so long as there is someone there to do it. I don't make a dime to do what I'm good at, and what I love to do. That's all right...I'm not in it for the money. I grew up with friends. I have friends now, but none of the same ones. Every day of my life I grow closer to one person and farther away from another. It's never, ever the same two people in that equation. God, fate, or providence...whatever, provide for me new people weekly. I am always irreversably changed by each new face that I encounter. There are many people I don't ever want to lose. I will. Loss is unavoidable...the question is not how to keep a person in my life...just how to keep them for a few seconds longer than I should. I miss those I'm not in contact with. Not, however, enough to make contact. I love all of you...and a whole hell of a lot more of you than will read this. I grew up, but the child inside still cries in his sleep. Not for fear...just for understanding that the world will change around him. Safe from harm...just not from change. I'm not afraid of pain. I'm afraid of the future pain. Yet...though it all...nothing is more exhillerating than knowing that tomorrow...I'll be alive. Change or not...pain or not...I get to breathe in the morning. I love all of you.