It's getting increasingly difficult to find time to write. Of course that will change soon. Soon my rehearsal schedule will change and calm down and my nights will be much more free. Life changes so often that it becomes the norm. Some things stay exactly the same, and others are constantly different. I come to realizations on a daily basis about so many things that by the end of the day I've forgotten all of them. I sleep. My dreams don't make any sense and then I wake up. I fear death. Not because of the unknown, or any type of afterlife punishment, which I'm sure I deserve, and I know I'll get. I'm okay with that. I am willing to take consequences. I fear death because I like life so much. No idea of heaven sounds as good to me as what I've got now. Even with the pain, the loss, the anguish, the confusion, the struggles. I can't imagine a place where we aren't supposed to have these things anymore...i.e. heaven...as being as wonderful as this place with all these things. I wish it could be realized that happiness is within our grasp here, and now. It's not a phantom to be chased...it's not a mystery to be solved. It's just a decision. To have it...or not. In spite of all the things that make us unhappy...perhaps they to are a link to the very cause of our happiness. It's all part of the great adventure. I love that Frank's phone is a coke can. I love that Erica has discovered a source of her questions about her own personality. I love that Joel and Deanne found each other. Whether it lasts or doesn't isn't important. Who cares. They have each other now. Maybe everything isn't supposed to last forever. Maybe it is. Who konws...or cares. I love Mark White's singing voice. I love Kyle's openness. I love Sarah's quietness. I love Katrina's laughter...and everything that causes it. I love that Alexia is going to New York even though I will miss her terribly. I could go on forever...but the point is...I love everything...I love all of you. The one's I mentioned, and the ones I didn't. I love loving you. It can't, It won't, and indeed, maybe it shouldn't last forever...but it is here now. It is who I am. You are all who I am. Good night. Sleep well. Even if you aren't in my dreams. You are in my heart. Good night Kitty. You evil little bastard.